How to master the art of the “starters block” loo in Asian countries.
- For three months prior to your trip, do squats – 100 per day minimum.
- Hong nam, nha ve singh etc – learn the word for dunny in your chosen country of visit.
- BYO toilet paper – everywhere!! Some places charge for the wiping privilege. True. (3THB for this little gem)
- Plant feet on grippy looking porcelain..
- Stand tall on the block
- Bend knees
- Take your squat position..
- Use your forearms/elbows on the walls to hold you steady – not hands.. do I really need to explain why?
- Get ready.. get set…
- Aim for the water, not the bowl! (I’d say the opposite to any male because who enjoys that noise where they pretend their appendage is bigger than it is in reality?)
- Nobody likes pee splashed toes, ankles, calves, knees – dependant on your power – easier said than done, being female and having little direction control an’ all.
- Ensure bladder empty, these squat toilets, I’m sure, aren’t a happy place for anyone.
- Throw your used paper in the bin, not in the starters block.
- Blocked toilets are ugleeee and too common.
- If you find somewhere to wash your hands, toes, feet etc – do so. Otherwise, byo baby wipes. (Recommended)
- In fact, consider creating a handbag made from wipes before your arrival.
- Reconsider your drinking habits… why would you want to drink so much that you need to pee so often?
- If you need to do number twos, walk directly out of bar, find your comfortable hotel.. quickly.
- Remember to take all valuables with you when you leave. “Vagina still attached – check – I’m good to go.”
It’s all about education.. of the mind, body, sprit and bladder control.