Travel romances / love on the road for the solo female traveller over 40… are they possible and sustainable?
Travel romance – Yay or nay??
Me: Uhhh….. NO!!
Finding and loving yourself is more important than searching for love outside – IMHO.
We’ve all been there, right?
That summer romance at the camping ground your parents took you to every year, the vacation with your friends overseas, that person visiting your country briefly…
It happens, and it’s usually an intense roller coaster – both parties making the most of the short time together and giving in that deeply you wonder how this happened at such a rapid pace and so intimately. Is this crazy love exchange due to having travelled solo for a while that you’re officially open for business without your knowing?
No, my lovely, you’re just bored! Get off your butt and do something exciting and new to counteract.
Me thinks it’s due to life not getting in the way of your default happy self.
… on why you fall into the travel romance trap;
How does this happen time and time again when we know the consequences of this brief liaison??
Do we find it easier to be open to travel romance because its only a short interlude?
Is it a real love?
Is this love on the road infatuation due to knowing your travel will continue with or without this person?
…because we’re ambitious.. probably… no… yes.
Confusing, right?! C’monnnn, you know the underlying truth. You’re physically older and wise enough to know better… you’re travelling solo, so you’re not a complete numpty.
Finding and loving yourself is more important, yet, you may have actually found you and all of a sudden you’re attracting the right humans.
Teehee… yes, love on the road happens with these youngin’s. It’s all fun and games until someone falls in love and the other flies away.
They don’t even care that you haven’t waxed and have Vagina Bin Laden between your thighs – they’re happy about just getting laid.
You may think you made a connection with them, but deep down you know that the cultures are different and the ages could be an issue – ah how sweet those reminders when you make a witty reference to something from a time pre-their-conception that they have no clue about.
The physically and mentally old is what I’m talking about. Who, in their right mind, wants to look at a wrinkly bottom and discuss medication?
Unless you’re ready to settle for sex in lieu of the potential of an inheritance, steer clear my friend.
Yes, admit it. Maybe the main reason you’re travelling is to wash that man out of your hair. It’s bound to happen. Enjoy it, but don’t get attached… that shit doesn’t work for either party.
VERY rarely there’s a real one that you’d do anything to be with, even stall your travel plans for..
The unspoken understanding – All knowing, mind blowing connection.
All boxes ticked… what do you do now?
“Your country, or mine, Luv?”
This is going to take a lot of communication, understanding and agreement. Hopefully you can agree on a destination that you both love that’s not home to either party.
love on the road
“Of course we’ll stay in contact.” You KNOW that’s a lie. You might even try for a month or two. But, nuh-uhh, you’re smarter than that, my girl.
Personally, I find it darn easy to say ‘bye-bye’ when there’s the promise of new lands and experiences, really.
There are those times when you’re completely engrossed in your locale that you fall in love with the idea of someone or destination pearls (i.e. food) – this love idea may be all in your head. Take a deeper look and ask yourself the hard questions before deciding on committing your heart to a travel romance.
You get where I’m coming from…
I think women fall in love with the idea of love on the road that is all inspiring and everlasting. We’re such hopeful beings.
- Sometimes you know its a fling, maybe that has something to do with the fact that you’re 20 years older than them.. yes, old enough to be their mother. But its fun at the time, right? Do you really want to go through that training process of “This is how it’s done” again? You’ve moved past that shenanigans, so it’s a good idea to jump on that next flight out to save some face.
- How many times have you heard me ask the question: Why do we think we belong to one person, for eternity? Its such a crazy notion to me. We, as evolutionary beings, constantly change and reinvent ourselves then expect our life partner to follow suit but in exactly the same direction. All for what? So we’re not alone? Pfffft!
- Have you ever truly enjoyed your own company? Give it a whirl, I think you’ll fall in love with singledom and more importantly, yourself. I know I have often – and to add up my single time vs involved time would be a close contest. It’s going to take something more than an extraordinary love on the road to get me out of this infatuation for solo-ism.
- I’m not really one for chasing a person (does that make me lazy, or expectant?). I’m never a jealous being, nor am I generally fussed about romances.. but don’t let me dissuade you – there may be that one travel romance exception which messes with everything I’ve just talked about.
Its easy enough to fall in love on your travels, however, is the longevity of this relationship realistic?
Know what’s reality, trust your gut instinct and continue to travel. You’ll thank yourself later.
WHERE TO FIND ‘LOVE’
- Assuming you’re ok with being invisible compared to stunning, 15yo looking Thai women and lady-boys… orrr, you can easily find that older gentleman to discuss colostomy bags with. (i.e. get that life insurance policy transferred into your name)
- They’re so spiritually minded, connected from an early age, contemplative, giving, kind to their mums and love western women.
- Everybody is HOT! They’re kind, sweet, great singers and mini basketballers.
- Mostly height challenged. I’m heightest after dating an angry short man. However, they’re very family oriented (assuming you’re ok with starting a family in your 40’s).
- Oh hell yes! Exclude the ex-circus-ugliest-human Chileans though. Sexy AF, can dance, well dressed, mostly fit, offering exquisite vino & food.. is there anything else a gal needs?
- Athletic, tall, dark and handsome.
Do I need to mention the cashew-esque Asian rumours? Who said size doesn’t matter? Oh right, that’s not love.. but a gal has needs.. so may I suggest doing a sneaky hand-cup-check pre-intimacy just in case?
WHAT TO TELL POTENTIAL SUITORS
During my travels I made it my self-duty to write a disclaimer where I suggested any and every man, that wanted to start up a conversation with me, sign before continuing to offer his ‘services’. You can find that non-serious disclaimer in here.
I do confess to putting up a barrier during my travels… maybe this blog will help you understand why.
HAVE YOU MET SOMEONE ON YOUR TRAVELS?
I know there are people that have met the love of their lives whilst travelling, so I’m really interested in your stories on how you made it work. Which country did you choose to live in? How did you get past cultural differences?
It’s all about education of the mind body and soul… and breaking hearts.
PS… none of the photos in this blog are mine. It was a sad state of affairs romantically, so I used canva.com for my image search.